Play Date Plans

by Jenn O’Hara

The saying goes that “Into one’s life, a little rain must fall” but whoever said that forgot that for a mom that means … INDOOR PLAY DATES! While I absolutely love to have play dates for my boys, with the hopes that they develop better socialization skills as well as be worn out enough to nap for a while, I, like many, worry about entertaining the masses! What if they fight? What if they do not like what we are having for snack or lunch? What if they cry? And all this from a former classroom teacher who handled up to 25 children at one time!!!!

Play dates do not have to be overwhelming, even on the rainiest of days. The February 2006 issue of Parents Magazine offers some helpful hints for arranging great play dates. While you do not have to arrange a play date with the same planning style as an important dinner party, a little preplanning, lots of varied activities and plenty of understanding goes a long way.

Play dates should last for a reasonable time. This amount of time depends on the age of your child but I think you should also take a child’s temperament and the type of day/week they have had (busy/low key) into account when planning a play date. Dr. Sal Severe, the author of How to Behave So Your Preschooler Will Too suggests that 2-3 year olds have one hour long play dates, and 4 -5 year olds have play dates for about one to two hours. This will help to lessen the chance for conflict and save your sanity!

Play dates can be fun for all when you keep a few things in mind. Know that in order for the children to learn to work together at a play date, you will need to be involved so make sure that you can devote you time and attention to the children then. Setting the rules out about your house will also save time and frustration for you and the kids. Allowing children to work through conflicts on their own or with some small guidance from you is also important. Helping the children to keep the conversation to age appropriate topics and with each other rather than always between children and adults is also key in fostering socialization skills. Finally, some parents love to come and stay for play dates while others may like to drop the child off alone. Decide that before hand, suggesting to a reluctant mom that you will host this time and she can do it an-other time so that you can each get some free time without the kids!

Indoor play dates do take some activity planning. I like to plan out lots of choices in my mind the day before because it helps to eliminate the “I’m bored” factor on many occasions. I try to include my child and his friends in the planning, try to vary the amount of activities and try to be flexible with them. Since kids love to have a say in what they are doing no matter what the age, I love to give them choices. Activities can range from very basic (playing with musical instruments and making up songs) to more involved (making a craft or baking cookies together). When I feel at a loss for ideas (which seems to be often these days), I consult two great books that I have received as gifts from my husband/partner in crime (who tries to aid my need to wear my boys out! Oops – I meant “stimulate them creatively”): The Preschooler’s Busy Book (365 Creative Games and Activities to Keep 3 – 6 Year Olds Busy) and The Toddler’s Busy Book (365 Creative Games and Activities to Keep 1-3 Year Olds Busy)  by Trish Kuffner.

While some of these suggestions may seem basic, they can make a big difference in the way a play date goes both now and in the future. So, take them to heart, keep the kids busy and know that the rain will stop. And when all else fails, get out the slickers, hats and rain boots let them venture out and join ‘em!